What do you call your minister’s wife – helpmate, pianist, Sunday school teacher, mission’s leader or maybe just friend? These ladies wear many hats and often much is expected of them, but we need to remember, they are simply human. They often mess up just like other people. We never laugh AT them (hopefully), only WITH them. In June, I wrote “Preachers ‘Ain’t’ perfect.” My pastor laughed and said, “Neither are their wives; you need to write about them.” I’m afraid he was remembering too many of my mess-ups. Here goes:
One lady shared with me that in their first pastorate, she played the piano for the services. She said there wasn’t a piano bench, only a stool. She was “great with their first child” and overfilled the stool. The lady leading the music knew only one speed – fast. She said she worked hard at keeping up and did until she glanced at her feet and saw a mouse. Suddenly, she stopped playing and threw her feet up to the keyboard. The sight of this just about ended the service that day as the congregation got a good laugh.
Another one of these saintly ladies was seen going up into the choir loft with the other choir members, only to suddenly disappear. The congregation was perplexed at her vanishing, while the choir stopped in their tracks and enjoyed some belly laughs. She wasn’t injured, but lay sprawled on the choir loft floor. She slipped on the shiny floor just as she was entering. Finally, some controlled their laughter long enough to help her up.
We served with a minister of music and wife who both possessed great senses of humor. She told about a time she made an unconventional choir exit. It was their last Sunday at that church as her husband had accepted a call to another one. Much had been said and done in the service to express gratitude for their service and to bid them farewell. She had not felt well when she left home but knew it was an important day, so she went to the service anyway. During the invitation, she fainted and crumpled to the floor. A nurse close by instructed,” Someone needs to put her legs higher than her heart. A couple of young guys in the choir were overzealous in their attempts to help. They reached down, picked her up by her ankles and took her out of the choir loft upside- down. She recounted that her dress came down over her head. She laughed and said, “That was the last view those church members had of me. Forever the vision of my panty-clad bottom remained in their heads.”
Another memory is of a “not so saintly” pastor’s wife in the little country church where I grew up. This scenario still makes me shutter at the mention of a business meeting. Back then, our church only issued yearly calls. The year was up and it was time for the vote. The pastor was a sweet, humble man, and the congregation had no problem with him, but his wife was the proverbial “thorn in his side. “ The church was fed up with her. The votes were tallied, and it was a tie. She then spoke up and said, “I’m a member here too, so I’ll break the tie. I vote we call him for another year.” Although this just added to her tackiness and the congregation’s distaste for her, they stayed on for another year.
A friend told this one on her former pastor’s wife: The pastor and his family often had the latest gadgets. So when cell phones were new and few people had them, the pastor’s family did. Well, apparently the pastor’s wife forgot to turn hers off or forgot how, because in the middle of a funeral, her phone rang, and she could not stop it, so she ended up running out the center aisle to the back.
A group of staff wives agreed to meet one morning a week and pray for wisdom in rearing their teenage daughters. They met in a small Sunday school room that was cool and dark. They each prayed in round-robin fashion. When the minister of music’s wife’s turn came, she sat silently. The other ladies kept their heads bowed, thinking she had gotten emotional. After giving her an extended time to regain her composure, the lady sitting next to her glanced over to find that she had fallen asleep.
Now I could continue for quite some time writing about my own mishaps – falling out of a chair during Sunday school, my zip line misadventure, knocking my glasses off while trying to catch a fly and some that would be inappropriate for a Christian magazine, but I will have to save those for another day. Check out my website at www.barbaraeubanks.com, and you can find some of these in older posts in my blog.
We can always enjoy laughs at ministers’ wives’ mistakes, but please take time to tell your pastor’s wife how much you appreciate all she does. Many of the ways she serves are never seen, for one of her biggest jobs is making the pastor’s home peaceful and a place where he can quietly prepare to preach on Sunday. Love her, even when she isn’t perfect. The rules for pastors and wives are the same as they are for everyone else. Even though submission is not a popular concept these days, very few wives would resent submitting to their husbands’ when or if they show them love like Christ loves the church.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
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Barbara’s upcoming events:
September 15, 2018 9:30 AM (doors open for mingling and perusing the book table at 9:10) Humorous Happenings in Holy Places Tablescape Brunch, North Highland Baptist Church, 4851 15th Street Rd., Hueytown, Alabama. Event planner Barbara O’Brian 205-413-5812.
September 22, 2018 11 AM Myers-Mallory Mission Day, First Baptist Church Ashville, 85 5th Ave, Ashville, Alabama Event planner – Teresa Holderfield 256-863-0888
Several book signings are also in the works. Times will be announced.
If you are planning an event and need Barbara to speak, call soon as other events, both personal and professional, are filling her calendar. 256-572-3932.