Preachers ‘ain’t ‘even close to perfect. I know that; they know that, but I would never laugh AT them, only WITH them. I admit, I really like it when one of these near-perfect creatures uses the wrong word, says something a little off, or messes up in any way. Recently, I sent out a call for preachers to send me stories of times they have blundered. Curiously enough, I received an abundance of them, except most of them would preface theirs by saying, “This didn’t happen to me, but to a friend. Hmm – maybe they do think they are perfect.

I would never laugh to ridicule or to show disrespect to a minister because I say the same about ministers of God as I do about the President of the United States – “Whether you like one or not, you must respect the position they hold.” Nonetheless, let’s have a few laughs WITH them

A pastor told me this one: “One time a trucker was near the church when I was in the middle of my sermon. Suddenly, the trucker spoke through his CB radio, and it came over the church’s speaker system. The congregation heard a booming voice say, ‘He doesn’t know what he’s talking about! I’ve tried that crap and it doesn’t work.’” Truckers – you got to love’em.

Another interrupter occurred when new technology had its say: A friend told me,” Barbara, not long ago I was preaching and all at once a voice said, ‘I did not understand what you said.’ It came from where I was preaching. I looked around and no one was there. I was sort of discombobulated, and then when I spoke again it said, ‘I did not understand what you said.’ Then I realized what it was my phone that I had not turned off. The congregation got a good laugh out of it as well as a fond memory.

Another minister prefaced his anecdote with a disclaimer. “This wasn’t me, but a friend preached an entire sermon on ‘The Pharisee and the Republican.’” You just can’t keep politics out of the church.

This one reminded me of a student preacher who lived in the married student apartments with us at Samford University. He knew there would be some highly educated people in the congregation that Sunday, so in his efforts to impress them, he threw in some quotes from Plato. The only problem, he accredited them to Pluto.

Another pastor ‘outted’ his friend: “While in college a friend of mine was asked to supply for a local pastor. His sermon that day was on sexual immorality. He couldn’t figure out why folks kept snickering during the sermon and why his fiancé was so red-faced. After the service, he asked her what was going on to which his fiancé told him he had been saying “sexual immortality” the entire sermon.”

This pastor did confess for himself: “I was preaching one Easter at FBC Pelham and I said “The women were the first to get to the tomb on Easter! But, as women do sometimes, they realized they could not roll the stone away because they did not plan ahead!” I heard some murmuring and a few boos coming from some of the ladies and I said, ’Hey, I meant that as a compliment not a criticism.’ There was more murmuring and many more booing loudly, someone cried out ‘Stone Him!’ In desperation I cried out, ‘My Mother was a woman! I married a woman and my son’s both married a women, and my granddaughters will grow from being girls to becoming women! God bless all women!” And the booing and murmuring stopped, but I kept my eye on the woman who had cried out ‘Stone Him!’ from then on until I retired. (This pastor has a great sense of humor, so I’m sure this was all good-natured jesting.)

And there are many more for another article. My pastor messaged me to say I needed to do one on the imperfect preachers’ wives. (He knows too many of my bloopers .) I replied, “If I started writing mine, the magazine might be R-rated. They won’t do to print.”

In spite of the levity offered, pastors are fulfilling a divine calling. I love and respect pastors, especially the one I was honored to stand by as his help-mate for 56 years.

Romans 10:15

And how can people preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring [the] good news!”

1 Corinthians 9:16 If I preach the gospel, this is no reason for me to boast, for an obligation has been imposed on me, and woe to me if I do not preach it!

 2 Timothy 4:1 I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingly power: ² proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching.